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Technology for Country Folk from Larry Trochesset

1. LOG ON: 

   • Making a wood stove hot. 
2. LOG OFF: 
   • Too much wood on fire. 
3. MONITOR: 
   • Keep'n an eye on the wood stove. 
4. DOWN LOAD: 
   • Gitten the farwood off'n the truck. 
5. MEGA HERTZ: 
   • When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood. 
6. FLOPPY DISC: 
   • Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood. 
7. RAM: 
   • That thar thang what splits the farwood. 
8. HARD DRIVE: 
   • Gitten home in the winter time.
9. WINDOWS: 
   • Whut to shut when its cold outside. 
10. SCREEN: 
    • Whut to shut when its black fly season. 
11. BYTE: 
    • Whut dem dang flys do. 
12. CHIP: 
    • Munchies fer the TV. 
13. MICRO CHIP: 
    • Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag. 
14. MODEM: 
    • Whatcha do to the hay fields. 
15. DOT MATRIX: 
    • Ole Dan Matrix's wife. 
16. LAP TOP: 
    • Whar the kitty sleeps. 
17. KEYBOARD: 
    • Whar you hang the dang truck keys. 
18. SOFTWARE: 
    • Dem dang plastic forks and knifes. 
19. MOUSE: 
    • What eats the grain in the barn. 
20. MOUSE PAD: 
    • That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives. 
21. MAINFRAME: 
    • Holds up the barn roof. 
22. PORT: 
    • Fancy flatlander wine.
23. ENTER: 
    • Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all". 
24. CLICK: 
    • Whut you hear when you cock yer gun. 
25. DOUBLE CLICK: 
    • When you cock the double barrel. 
26. REBOOT: 
    • Whut you have to do right before bedtime, when you have to go to the outhouse.