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Date: Fri, 12 Oct 2001
From: Richard Hodges
To: newbriefs@BuildOrBuy.net

Dear Taliban, Mr. Bin Laden, Mr. Arafat, and Mr. Hussein, et al:

We are pleased to announce that we unequivocally accept your challenge to an old-fashioned game of whoop-ass. Now that we understand the rule that there are no rules, we look forward to playing without them for the first time. Since this game is a winner-take-all, we unfortunately are unable to invite you to join us at the victory celebration. But rest assured that we will toast you -- LITERALLY.

While we will admit that you are off to an impressive lead, it is however now our turn at the plate. By the way, we will be playing on your diamond now... Batter up! Our team line up is as follows:

1. Manager ~ George W. Bush

   President George W. Bush

   GeorgeBush.com

2. Assistant Manager ~ Dick Cheney

   Richard B. Cheney Inside the Vice President's Office

   SecDef Histories - Richard Cheney

3. Head Coach ~ Colin Powell

   Secretary of State Colin L. Powell

4. Assistant Coach ~ Donald Rumsfeld

   Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld

5. Starting Pitcher ~ General Tommy Franks

   General TOMMY R. FRANKS, USA, Commander of U.S. Central Command, USCENTCOM

   Statement of General Tommy R. Franks - 01-03-28franks

   USCENTCOM : United States Central Command

    

6. 1st Base ~ U. S. Marine Corps

   Official Website for the United States Marine Corps

7. 2nd Base ~ U. S. Navy

   U.S. Navy's Official Web Site Welcome Aboard

8. 3rd Base ~ U.S. Air Force

   Air Force Link

   United States Air Force Academy Click on USAFA Web Movie - Inspirational! Hear "High Flight"

9. Shortstop and Clean Up Hitter ~ U. S. Army

   The United States Army Homepage

10. Outfield ~ Firemen and Policemen

11. Umpire ~ None Required.

12. **remember - the manager told you there'll be no discussion; no negotiation!

13. Pinch hitters as needed ~ U.S. Navy SEALS U.S. Army Green Berets U.S.

14. Army Rangers U.S. Air Force PJs Delta Force

15. And, since there are no rules, we've decided to add:

16. 4th Base ~ United Kingdom

17. 5th Base ~ Russia

18. 6th Base ~ China Other Bases (as desired) ~ Pakistan, Japan, Germany,
    France, Spain, Italy "Turkistan and lots of other ...stans" and more. 

Opening Ceremonies:

Vocal 1: Celine Dion ~ The Star Spangled Banner

Vocal 2: Lee Greenwood ~ God Bless the U.S.A.

Vocal 3: Neil Diamond ~ Comin' To America

Vocal 4: Bruce Springstein ~ Born In the U.S.A.

Vocal 5: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir ~ Battle Hymn of the Republic

You may choose whoever you want for your team ... it won't really matter (even if you all shave), our guys are gonna win!!!

Sincerely,
On behalf of the 270,000,000 citizens of the United States of America

P.S. May we recommend at this time that you give your soul to Allah;
'cause your ass is ours! Goodbye!